::: H E A R T B R E A K :::

Everyone at some point in their life is going to experience it. 

And, u know what ? 

it's probably one of the most painful things a person has to go through. 

I'm not going to lie ! 

When u get ur heart broken, 

it feels like it shattered into a million pieces. 

It's like that person u were head over heels for stomped mercilessly on ur heart. 

It feels like ur heart is being shredded to pieces, 

cut up, 

and thrown in the trash, 

left to rot. 

It hurts a lot, 

emotionally and physically. 

Getting heart broken actually makes ur heart physically hurt. 

U cry and cry and wish it wasn't like this. 

U wish it was just a temporary nightmare.

But, the sad truth ? 

It's not ! 

It's reality ! 

And u're going to just have to accept it, the pain and all. .

The truth is. . .

I tell myself the things that I really need to hear at a time like this. .

"You're gone because it's the best for both of us. You weren't happy, and now you've gone to find someone that can make you happy. Which is good, because that's what I want. you need to be happy and it makes me happy knowing you are happy. I tell myself we weren't right for each other and there's one right person out there for me, and it wasn't you, so that's why we didn't last. I tell myself that I won't look back on our relationship with regret, because I believe in the saying that it's better to have loved and lost than to never have loved at all."

But I'm just lying to myself.

No one will ever love you the same way I did. Being apart isn't good for either of us. You used to be happy, and I believe we could go back to the time we were happy, if we could just work through it. I believe with all my heart we were right for each other... and I will always live with that regret allowing you to walk out of my life instead of just giving up after countless times of you throwing me back to the ground after I dropped my pride time after time. I wish I could say that I never did love you because it would be easier. then I wouldn't have to deal with crushing heartache. I wish I could truly believe that saying either way; I don't believe it was better to have loved and lost, but the time I spent loving you was the greatest time of my life.

I don't know if telling myself these lies are helping or not. It's not working to force myself to believe it, because with every statement I tell myself, the pain worsens to know it's not true and yet I continue to go in this continuous cycle, happy to stay in it because the only thing I can think of is that you loved me enough to pull me out of it. This is the only lie I have told myself that I have chosen to believe. I think that's why it hurts the most. .

Although I tell myself many lies to try to get over you, here's the truth:

"I will always love you and that's all I'm really certain of anymore."

iF onLy u know . . . .

I didn’t plan on FALLiNG iN LOVE with you, 

 and I doubt if you planned on falling in love with me. .

But once we met, 

 it was clear that neither of us could control what was happening to us. .

We fell in love, 

 despite our differences, 

and once we did, 

 something rare and beautiful was created. . 

For me, 

 love like that has happened only once

and that’s why every minute we spent together has been seared in my memory. .

 I’ll never forget a single moment of it. .